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The file I have uploaded is a case study paper I had done. What I’m about to put in this textbook is the flaws he saw in my paper and what I have to fix. Please meet the requirements he has asked for. Thank you.
Feedback:
1. I like how you address each of the three elements in the paper in separate sections. However, there needs to be an overarching argument that you’re making in the entire paper. And, that needs to come in the form of a thesis statement, ideally at the end of the introduction. All you tell us is that this paper is going to explore these questions. But that is just re-stating the task of the assignment. I want an argument – what are you suggesting is going to happen to the regime, and why??? This should be clear in the thesis itself.
2. Update based on your email with the revised thesis: you still need to develop the argument and state it in the thesis. A thesis previews the argument and hooks the reader. Saying that you are going to answer some questions is not a sufficient thesis
3. The intro you have, about British rule, seems a little off. Why does this matter?
4. You need to think critically about some of the claims you are making. Some are inconsistent with one another. A regime can not be an electoral democracy, and authoritarian regime, and a close autocracy, all at the same time. Make sure you understand what these different regime types are, and what they would look like in practice. You need to resolve this
5. I appreciate the invocation of some theory in the third part, but I found this to take an unexpected direction. You rely a lot on other scholars’ views. What about your own application of the theories we have? What does the rationality-activist mindset mean? I am not familiar with this. I think you’d be on more solid ground if you stuck with the general theories and concepts that we introduced in this class, on what makes democracy emerge, and how autocracies survive. This is the most important part of the revision process.
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