PURPOSE: The purpose of the Final Draft is to push your writing as far as you po

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PURPOSE:
The purpose of the Final Draft is to push your writing as far as you possibly can. This should be a demonstration of all of the skills that you learned over the quarter.
TRANSFERRABLE SKILLS:
All good writing requires revision. Whether you are witing in a professional, academic, or personal capacity, being able to refine your work is essential for clear communication.
OBJECTIVES:
Support a thesis by integrating a variety of primary and secondary source material as well as the student’s own reasoning and observations on the topic.
Present research information in a variety of forms such as direct quotation, paraphrase, summary, visual information, and digital media.
Use information in a conscientious and ethical way, including consideration of its original context, ownership, values, and potential consequences.
DESCRIPTION:
Your final draft of the essay will take into account suggestions made in the workshop, my comments on your Rough Draft, and additional development that you have chosen as the writer. This draft should represent your absolute best work. In order to successfully complete this assignment, you will most likely need to find additional research, rework your thesis, adjust topic sentences, and consider paragraph order.
All major revisions need to be bolded in order to receive full credit. Please do not highlight or underline your changes (use the “bold” function only). A substantial part of your grade for the final will consist of what you have chosen to change. If the entire paper is rewritten please bold the entire paper. Specifics:
Minimum eight pages (typed, double-spaced, 12 point font, regular margins), not counting images or the Work Cited page.
Minimum eight sources (four of which must be peer-reviewed and one of which must be a book).
Reflect substantial revisions (bolded).
Correct errors (large and small) from the previous draft of the essay.
PREPARATION:
In order to prepare for the successful completion of this assignment I would suggest that you do the following:
1) Review my comments on your Research Project and First Draft.
2) Take into consideration any additional feedback you received from your peers.
3) Find new sources that will contribute to developing your topic.
4) Use a reverse outline, five-sentence paragraph, the eTutoring (through campus), or other tools to polish your essay.
5) Contact me if you have any specific questions or concerns about your draft.
Commet review:
Here is my instructor comments for my first draft.
Nice work here. You have some great evidence and you stay close to your central thesis throughout the paper.
A few things that I would suggest thinking about as you continue to work on your paper:
1) For the sake of clarity, I would suggest defining exactly what you mean by Bilingual Education System. It seems to me that we are somewhat talking around the specifics. It sounds like what you are advocating here is a system in which students are allowed to take core classes (e.g., math, science, history) in their native language, while taking separate courses in English. This makes sense to me, but I think that it also raises a few logistical concerns. One: what languages would these classes be offered in? Do we need to offer core classes in a number of different languages?
Also, how do we find the staff to teach these core classes? There is, I believe, currently a teacher shortage in the US, which means we have an additional challenge here.
And, for the sake of clarity, are we talking about K-12 education or college or both? It seems that we’re talking about K-12 education, but I could also see how this might apply to college.
2) Try to incorporate some direct quotes into your paper. You have primarily (if not entirely) paraphrases and summaries here. Incorporating direct quotes helps vary the pace and structure of the essay, allowing you to further borrow the authority of your sources.
3) Make sure that you are using MLA citations rather than APA. It looks like you have APA citations for in-text citations and your Work Cited.

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