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As a whole there is a lot of decent work in your essay here, and a clear effort at answering the prompt and using your sources. Your essay as a whole does not really have a clear, concrete, central argument. There are some issues with some of your approaches, in how that effects your structure, and in some of your analysis of sources. As an overall point, try to keep in mind that you are not being asked to make an argument about “all historical narratives” but instead about “historical narratives” related to a specific event. Your conclusions should generally be about how specific sources create/articular particular views and understandings of your chosen event (the Opium Trade/Wars) through their narratives.
First, try to refocus your main points that you want to make with each “section.” As is, you are actually trying to make points that are a bit overly broad. You seem to be trying to make an argument about “historical narratives” as a whole, rather than an argument about “historical narratives of the Opium Trade/Wars.” The difference is that the former is a VERY big topic, so it is much harder to “prove” in the short space you have for this essay. As a result while the evidence you want to use, and the specific points you want to make are generally decent, they don’t really provide enough to support assertions about “all of historical writing.” Further, trying to make such broad conclusions takes a lot of written space, which leaves many of your pieces of evidence very under examined and under explained. Instead, make each section focus on one of your chosen sources (Lin Zexu’s letter, some specific perspectives that Pomeranz and Topik refer to, the arguments of Pomeranz and Topik themselves), and then really work on being concrete about what that source is, how it discusses the Opium Trade/Wars, what kind of narrative it creates, and how that presents specific understandings of what that past event means.
Second, as a result of your points being a bit overly broad, the structure of your essay similarly is not able to organize a specific, focused argument. Your introduction is extremely broad, and does not really give the reader a clear idea of what your writing will specifically be examining or arguing. Your particular focus on the Opium Wars only takes up one sentence of the whole introduction, and the rest refers too broadly to “historical writing” as a whole. Similarly, the body of your writing echoes this kind of approach. Rather than having each “section” discuss some aspect of “authors/historical writing/etc,” you should be setting up the specific source or points about a source you want to examine.
Again, there are some good ideas in your writing here, and there are some decent points that you refer to, but as a whole the writing lacks the kind of focused and specific analysis it needs to really set up, explain, and then defend those points.
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