Does this needed to be taught in college?

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Hi there ,
My essay has already been written , I need to revise the current work by applying the notes from my instructor and peer . I was wold to create a new order to complete this task .
***** this essay just needs to be added to based on the remarks listed below.
Moving toward our final draft, though, we need to think of 3 things.
1. Right now, this reads as a pros cons paper about transformational leadership in the workplace. It’s clear there are benefits and cons, but that’s not our purpose here. We need to address an issue within a topic and then propose a solution.
2. I’m going to guess you are in favor of transformational leadership, so what needs to be done? Does this needed to be taught in college? Do work places need to have training in it?
3. Once you have that solution, we need to see it in EVERY body paragraph. For instance, tell us
“There needs to be more education in high schools about transformational leadership because it will help students find focus and be self-reflective (or whatever that section is about).
The counterargument, then, needs to be relegated to one small section–not half of the paper. Most of our paper needs to be in support of our claim.
It looks like you have a lot of the pieces you need here–now, we just need a specific solution, and we need you to show us how the information you are giving us supports your solution.
***** sources have been used already , please feel free to use them or add .

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