Identify any places where the information in the essay strays from the focus identified above.

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ENG 100 Essay 5 Peer Feedback
Read through your peer’s draft carefully. Annotate the draft as you would any other reading in class. Then clearly and carefully answer the questions below. Keep in mind that providing good feedback is simply about offering new ideas about what is possible – the author decides if your idea fits with their purpose.
You can copy and paste these questions from the detailed description in the Laulima forum.
What is the thesis (stated or implied is okay)? If it isn’t clear, point that out to the author. If there is a stated thesis, it should be at the end of the introduction.
Identify any places where the information in the essay strays from the focus identified above.
Now focus on the structure of the completed body paragraphs. Does each paragraph have a clear topic sentence? Is that topic then supported by evidence? Do they follow a logical order? If you see any areas for improvement on organization within the paragraph, let the author know. Think about that “info sandwich”.
Is the essay interesting to you? Although you might not be officially part of the audience, you should be able to identify areas where the author attempts to reach out with personal stories, a catchy introduction, etc. Where has the author been successful at grabbing your interest and why?
this were your essay, what one thing would you change for the next draft workshop, and what one thing would you leave as is? Please don’t use grammar as a suggested change, as that is something to be dealt with further down the road.
Peer’s draft:
Local Home shortages and their issue
In recent years, residents of Maui have suffered from a lack of housing, in a way that residents would consider renting or living with relatives which are also common practices. In a written article by Mariana Starleaf Riker writes “From an economics perspective, if you can own a second home in Maui, that’s not an essential good — that’s some version of a luxury good,” Kenna Storm Gipson, the housing policy director for Hawaii Appleseed Center for Law and Economic Justice, told council members at a meeting last month. “We have a lot of people in Maui that don’t have the essential good of a house.” Maui’s housing shortage is only getting worse. We need to act now to be sure that Maui residents have a roof over their heads. Thousands Of Houses Are Empty On Maui. Would Higher Taxes Change That? – Honolulu Civil Beat
Maui is particularly impacted by the housing shortage. Dakota Grossman writes, that the number of properties that were newly listed on the market in February decreased 6.7 percent for single-family homes compared to last year and 17.3 percent for condominium homes. Pending sales also decreased by 27 percent and 31 percent for single-family homes and condos. According to Grossman, Maui’s inventory in February is lower than in the previous year in the recent statistics. Sales of single-family homes decreased by 25.6% from 254 in February 2021 to 189 this year, and condominiums decreased. From 530 in February 2021 to 152 this year. Unless we make changes soon, the crisis will only continue.
Shortage of homes on Maui amplifies demand, spurs bidding wars, report says | News, Sports, Jobs – Maui News
In Maui, the issue of housing project shortage has been ongoing, and the council has not responded to its residents. The residents are running out of quick solutions to find a place to rent or buy. The growing concern has affected most of the locals instead of looking elsewhere in Maui they just fly to the mainland instead due to the increase in rent and goods. the new residents are asking the same questions the left behind locals when the housing project shortage is going to get fixed. And according to Anita Hofschneider of Civil beats, the locals argue quote “Oh we’ve lived here forever, and all of a sudden we’re told to leave,’” from one of the tenants who were interviewed.
During the pandemic, Gov. David Ige imposed a state law where the landlords cannot evict a tenant or the property during these hard times. However, In August 2022 the governor removed the law where landlords cannot evict tenants and now tenants must find a new place to live in. Some of the residents argue that rents are increasing exponentially, and the low-income residents are having a hard time to meets the end. However, In the National low Income Housing Coalition residents can apply for federal aid and consultation.
The growing issue surrounding the housing project shortage must be addressed by the mayor of Maui, the department of housing and finance should brief the residents about the situation and informed them if there are sudden changes, this should prevent misunderstanding. Some may argue that the mayor is just pointing a front so they could buy time with negation with foreign investors and international buyers. In a recent study in East Asia, this practice has been globalized and is part of sales representatives.
Maui County has been putting off the issue regarding about housing shortage and the locals had enough with it. The locals want direct action to solve housing shortages, but with the high demand for materials and laborers. Like most of the unions being from the mainland also affects most locals. The locals eventually leave Maui due to the increasing prices of rent and goods. The residents will need to choose whether to remain in Maui or Move elsewhere and register in the union to work for the housing shortage project. However, the employment process is completed through an apprenticeship. This takes place in Maui or Mainland which should also mean that union workers are contracted in Maui for the housing shortage projects. In an article, Gordon Collins writes, Total sales of houses across the state of Hawaii in February 2022 fell 8%. while condo sales increased by 3.2% year over year. Housing sales declined the most on Maui with a drop of 14.85%.
The decline was steepest on the islands of Hawai’i and Kauai where sales took a 17% and 16.2% dive respectively YoY. Home prices overall have still risen strongly with a 21.95% growth, including Kauai’s where prices rocketed 37.54% YoY. There were 596 home sales in February 2022.
Condo prices rose strongly over the last 12 months as well, at a 16.8% clip. There were 774 total sales at an average price of $633,750.
managecasa.com/articles/hawaii-housing-market-forecast/
In recent cases, locals resident have to leave Maui due to the housing shortage and regarding the issue Viola Gaskell writes, You grow up being taught that though making a living is hard, the living is worth it,” said Kaina. “But then you go to places where making a living is so much easier that life there might be worth it.”
Statewide, nearly a third of homeowners spend over 35% of their income on a mortgage, more than in any other U.S. state, according to the Bureau of Economic Analysis. Hawaii’s median rent, including utilities, was 50% higher than the US average—higher than in any other state according to the 2020 US Census. Maritimes.news/the-price-of-paradise/
However, a movement was formed for the locals to get their point across.
An article written by Kehaulani Cerizo states, “This is what we are all interested in and talking about is housing for local families that is affordable,” Commissioner Kimberly Thayer said during the meeting. “I would be concerned about pinning this on the developer when they are doing everything, they can get this done as efficiently as possible.” But the locals seem less interested in some may consider it as a P.R stunt.
mauinow.com/2022/04/27/panel-pulls-requirement-for-n-Kihei-affordable-housing-project-so-it-can-move-ahead/.
Possible solution.
The county proposes an idea for locals to afford homes in Maui in the range of $49,000-$80,000. But with a low-income family average household yearly is $40,000. The county has contacted the union and made a push for the project’s approval in the next census. The residents are considering resorting to renting in the meantime while the projects are being developed.
According to Kenna Storm Gispon “, one of the most common measures of affordability lies in comparing housing costs to the level of household income needed to afford the home. For example, the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) defines affordable rent as 30 percent or less of a household’s income. A $2,000 apartment is therefore considered affordable to a household with at least $6,600 in total monthly income, or $79,200 a year”.
www.hibudget.org/blog/solving-housing-crisis-Hawaii-build-smart-not-just-more
In an article written by Kenna Storm Gipson, she stated “Maui has been seen as a great investment opportunity by outsiders,” said community member Jordan Hocker, who spoke out in support of the bill at a recent public hearing. “And what I see being done with legislature like this, and the other agenda item is a clear message that our residents need to be taken care of. And when I say, ‘residents,’ you know, I’m referring to people who grew up here, whose families are in danger of moving away or already have had to.”

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