Response to a Writing Sample You will evaluate the writing sample at the end of

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Response to a Writing
Sample
You will evaluate the writing sample at the end of the weekly
PowerPoints. In your critique, you will:
·
evaluate
and address the strengths and weaknesses
·
examine
whether, in its context, the sample succeeds in its purpose
·
determine
the pattern of mistakes in grammar, punctuation, spelling, usage, etc.
·
give
examples of these errors from the sample
·
address
any problems that the writer needs to take into account in the revision
·
propose
specific changes to improve the sample in the revision.
·
What
other problems do you notice? If the letter’s author were to want to improve
the letter, what specific measures could he or she take to improve it?
o
What
is the letter about? To whom is it addressed? What are the letter’s strengths?
What are its weaknesses?
o
Do
you think the letter succeeds in its purpose? Is it appropriate to the audience?
o
What
kinds of mistakes do you notice? Do they seem to follow a pattern? If so,
describe it. What examples can you draw from the letter to support your
observation?
o
What
other problems do you notice? If the letter’s author were to want to improve
the letter, what specific measures could he or she take to improve it?
Dear Bush Letter
A concerned citizen
wrote a letter to the president pleading with him to end the war.
Dear President Bush,
I am writing because I
would like to tell you to stop the war. Its not fare that the soldiers are
fighting for nothing. I believe that the war is unfair and it will do more harm
than good.
We are Americans and
we have a lot of our own problems. How can we help someone in another country
when we have not been helping ourselves. The poverty disparity is very high.
The rich continue to make money while the poor can barely keep small change in
their pocket. After school programs, gym programs, and art programs are being
cut all over because there is no money to fund it. In an effort to try to
defend our way of life, our educational system is moving backward.
This backward movement
is depriving the children of the US, who are supposed to be the most
privileged. How can we bring one nation to modernity and move into the
prehistoric ourselves. I feel like sometimes this war is not about us. I fell
like it is a personal disagreement. I feel like we are a neglected child. As a
result of cutbacks in schools and a complete lack of attention to children, we
have taken away the creativity and fun of our children’s youth. Our children
are obese. They are not creative, choosing mindless music and television
shows instead of making more cultured choices. Our children, because we have
cut the programs that would have normally kept them off the street, have been
affected by the allure of violent activities
President Bush, please
stop the war. Bring our troops home and return these parents to their children.
Return the children to the parents. Put American families back together. Put
America back together.

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