My Mom is Amazing Person

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When I think of the word “mom” it almost seems impossible to come up with the right word to describe her. Loving, caring, beautiful, selfless, strong… Strong. That’s the best word to describe my mom. My mom’s name is Tara, she is about 5’5”, medium length blonde hair, fair skin and hazel eyes. She grew up right across the street from Queens College, in Pomonok housing then moved out to Long Island and eventually made her way back to Queens.
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My mom didn’t always have it easy growing up, she lost her mom at a very young age and had to deal with an awful step-mother.
Mom was only ten years old when she lost her mom. Imagine the devastating news finding out your mother passed away. I can’t even begin to imagine how life would be without my mom, my best friend. “Losing my mom was the hardest thing I ever had to go through”. My mom never expected for her life to turn out the way it did.

After her mom passed, she was left very angry and was never able to express her emotions. Emotions that still haunt her today, “Losing her made me angry, I’m still angry. I will never understand why she was taken from me.” It breaks my heart that she’ll never be able to heal from this, that she’ll always have this missing piece in her heart.
Her relationship with her dad wasn’t always the greatest. It all started when her mom got sick, “He walked out on her when she was sick, she had emphysema, that’s why she passed away.
He was the one working, making the money.” She pauses, “My mom was too sick to take care us and him leaving caused us to go on welfare, it wasn’t easy”. My mom’s tone of voice changed from calmness to disgust. To be honest, my grandfather hasn’t changed.
She grew up in a ‘boys world’. She has three older brothers. Joseph, Michael and Paul. “I’m close to Michael and Paul, we’ve always been. Joey kind of distant himself from all of us”, she pauses for a second, “he likes to hangout with my step family”. This brought up the conversation of her step family. Her dad (my grandfather) got remarried and married the stereotypical evil stepmother. She treated my mom horribly. There was two extra bedrooms upstairs but made my mom sleep in the basement. Before I could even continue to ask more about how horrible she was, she interrupted me, playfully slammed the table, “She would literally label food. Scott (the step-family) and Alvich (my mom). I got store brand food and they got name brand food. (Key Food vs. Skippy Peanut Butter). Get the picture?” We both laughed, it’s so stupid to even think that’s normal. Years later he ended up moving to Florida with Evil Stepmother, and missed out on a lot.
I always heard stories about the evil stepmother but I learned even more through this interview process. I found out that she treated my mom like a guest in her own house. “She made me sleep in the basement when there were two extra bedrooms upstairs and I was only allowed to shower upstairs.” My mom laughed a little, it’s crazy to think that this is even true. “She also once put a stray dog in my bedroom and it shit all over the place.” This was another reason why her relationship with her father wasn’t the best. He allowed this bitch to treat HIS daughter that way. The evil stepmother is still in the picture, she’s still alive but refuses to come over anymore. It’s always an excuse for her not coming over… “Oh she’s not feeling well or she has to watch the cats, they’re sick.” The excuses continue by grandfather.
When my mom was 14 she was in a serious relationship and it was not with my dad. It was with her first boyfriend Chris. She loved him with all her heart. They were always together. When she was 15, my mom got pregnant. She was way too young and she had an abortion. “It wasn’t easy at all, it was an extremely hard decision to make but we weren’t ready… I was a kid. It was a bad time, I wasn’t ready and my living situation wasn’t the best. Chris wasn’t even ready”. Eventually she and Chris broke up and that’s where the true love story started.
I think her not having a mother of her own, really affected her in this sense. She was moving from place to place and figuring out who she was at that time. She was living with other family members and she did live with her best friend and her family for a little while too. My mom taught herself how to grow up, she also grew up too quickly because of her mom being so sick.
My mom met my dad when she was 18, they usually went to the same bars in Queens. My mom gets all annoying when she talking about my dad. “I thought he was cute but I acted like I didn’t care, he gave me his number and I lost it in the midst of moving to Long Island but he didn’t believe me.” I already heard this story a million times, no exaggeration, my dad tells me all the time. After the next few times my mom and dad met up, they eventually started seeing each other. Countless trips back and forth to Long Island to Queens, they made it work. “Your dad would drive an hour to just give me Advil.” Eventually, my mom moved in with my dad and his family.
When my mom was 19 she got pregnant with me, which could have been super scary but my mom felt secure this time. She wa a little older and she felt safe. They got pregnant out of wedlock, they had a wedding in the hospital the day they thought I was coming into the world but I decided to wait one more week. I was always so curious how she knew how to be a mom without growing up with hers. She looked at me, kind of tilted her head, “Umm well, I took care of my nieces when I was 15. I was always around young kids, it just came naturally.. I wasn’t afraid to be a mom.”My mom got a lot of help from my grandma and my great grandma. It was just the three of us for two years then my mom and dad had my sister.
It was rough because my dad was always working, he was 24 years old with two kids and a wife. He was providing for us, “It was rough… I always missed your dad, but he needed to work. We had a lot to pay for. Your grandparents were a big help. Thank God for them, I did know what I was doing, but I was still young and I needed help”. As my mom was talking about her only being 22 and taking care of two kids alone most of the time, I was amazed. I know for a fact that I couldn’t do it. I can’t imagine being a mom yet and I have my mom there all the time. She’s superwoman. Eight years, my brother and sister are born. “I had 4 kids under the age of 30. I always wanted to be a young mom. I love being able to grow with my kids. Having you guys so young, taught me a lot.”
My mom is the most amazing person I’ve ever met. She has been through so much since her mom passed away. She kept a positive outlook on life while growing up and despite all the anger she had and still has, she doesn’t let it get the best of her. She is an amazing mom and wife. She will go to hell and back for us, she is constantly on the run, taking us to doctors, practice, work, school, the list goes on and on. She is the definition of what a mother is and should be. She taught herself how to be a mom, she is loving, she is empathetic, warming. She’s my best friend, I have no idea what I’d do without her. She’s exactly the type of mother I want to be when I become one. I know my grandma is smiling down at her in amazement, she is so proud of the woman my mom became.

Lillie Lane

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